I Hate You! Or Why Chloe Doesn't Do Halloween
by Isabel5
Summary: Chloe/Oliver. Tiny tiny crossover with BBC's Robin Hood. When Oliver and Co get invites to a super exclusive Halloween party, they never imagened their night would end up like this.


Author's Note: This is a special Halloween story in response to the Chlollieween challenge of at the Chloe/Oliver Love LJ...hope you enjoy. Kudo's to everyone who finds all the Die Hard quotes, some are more obvious than others. I know it's quite long, but once again the story just ran away from me. Very slight crossover wtih BBC's Robin Hood only because at the moment those are the characters who I picture when I think about the legend of Robin Hood. If you haven't watched the show you should get confused, no realy heavy plot points, I just borrowed the supporting characters. Oh and for those of you who don't know Djaq is pronounced like Jack.

* * *

Chloe's phone beeped for the hundredth time signaling another text and she dug it out of her bag. She knew the last time she dropped it in there she was likely just going to have to retrieve it again but she didn't want to be one of those people that walked down the street with her phone in her hand typing away and not paying attention. Chloe didn't even bother to look at the text she'd gotten, instead she simply hit reply and typed out a very short and sweet, "I'm almost home, I'll call you when I get there. Stop texting me, you're not a 14 year old girl." She angrily dumped the phone back in her bag and let out a sigh.

She turned her attention back to the sidewalk just in time to prevent a collision with a gang of costumed children who were barreling down on her. She moved out of their way as they hurried past onto the next house, screaming trick or treat before they'd even rung the bell. The poor frazzled woman who was unfortunate enough to have the job of chaperone offered Chloe an apologetic shrug as she hurried after them. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Chloe smiled, paused to shake her head at the kid dressed up like the Green Arrow, then continued on down the street. She jogged up the steps to her building and unlocked the door. She checked her mail, met another group of trick-or-treaters on the stairs and kept going all the way up to the top for her apartment, her Watchtower.

She had her keys out and was putting them in the lock when she realized that at some point, she'd stopped pausing. When she first got this place, after Jimmy died she paused every time she came home. She had to stop herself at the doorway and take a few deep breaths before she could even think about putting the key in the lock, much less walking inside. Not anymore, she hadn't done that in a while in fact.

Chloe paused now though, not out of respect or grief but fear. When she'd gone to unlock the door it became painfully obvious that someone had beat her to it. It swung open slightly when she applied a little pressure. Someone was in her apartment. She dropped her bag in the hall by the door and opened it wider, quietly. A cursory examination of the main room showed her there was no one in there. She slipped off her shoes and set them softly on the floor in the hall along with her bag and padded into the room on the balls of her socked feet.

She closed the door quietly behind her and slipped over to the chest that was along the side wall. She quietly crouched down and reached between the chest and the wall for the tire iron that she'd stashed there her third night in the apartment when she realized she was living in the big bad city all alone. Her fingers curled around the handle and she pulled it free, standing up. The house was so quiet that for a second she thought maybe whoever had broken in got what they wanted and left, then she heard a thump from upstairs.

She made her way across the room, sticking as close to the wall as she could, staying in the shadows. She tip toed up the steps, skipping the fifth and twelfth because they squeaked. She heard another noise, being closer she could tell it was coming from her bedroom. She leaned against the wall beside the door and took a deep breath, scolding herself for waiting until she was three feet from her invader to realize that she should have just called the cops.

There was another thud followed by a muffled "shit" as something that sounded suspiciously like the glass bowl she kept on her bedside table for her jewelry fell to the floor and shattered, then she just got annoyed. She listened carefully for the sound of foot falls, waited until they were by the door and then flung it open. She swung the tire iron through the air and could see, even though it was dark, that her aim was dead on. She waited for the satisfying thunk when it smacked into the side of her attacker's head.

Only it never made contact. She saw the shadowed man turn and throw his hands up, catching the tire iron and spinning around, pulling Chloe toward him, trapping the weapon and her right arm between her back and his chest. She grunted, shoved her left elbow into his side, dropped to one knee, levered her shoulder into his stomach and pulled, throwing the man over her head.

He hit the floor with a loud crack, letting go of the tire iron which Chloe took full advantage of. "Wait." A voice said from behind her and it was familiar enough that Chloe did wait, freezing halfway to a standing position, the tire iron raised in offense as the light was switched on.

"Jesus Chloe." Oliver groaned from the floor in front of her. "What the hell?"

"What the hell me?" Chloe slowly stood up straight and brushed the hair out of her face. "What the hell you? You broke in my house." She turned around to see AC, Bart, and Victor in her room.

"We didn't break into your house." Oliver glared as he pulled himself up. "I used the key you gave me."

"Then why are you skulking around in the dark?"

"We weren't skulking around in the dark." He rubbed the back of his head where it hit the floor. "It was still daylight when we got here, we just hadn't gotten around to turning the lights on."

Still annoyed with them she glared even harder. "You've been texting me for the past hour." Chloe pointed out. "You didn't think to warn me maybe that you were in my house."

"I did." Oliver dug his phone out of his pocket. "Last text I sent you." He held it out for her to see.

She read it sheepishly remembering that she'd ignored that particular text and sighed. "Don't freak out, we're in your apartment."

She pushed past them and into the room. She crouched down beside her bed and motioned to the broken glass. "This was my grandmother's bowl; it was over eighty years old."

"Shit seriously?" Bart looked at her horrified.

"No." Chloe's face broke out into a grin. "I found it in a thrift store a few months ago. Go get the broom and dustpan from the kitchen yeah?" Bart nodded and ran from the room returning a few seconds later to sweep up the glass as Chloe fell to the mattress exhausted. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Looking for your costume." Oliver said heading to her closet.

Chloe lifted her head confused. "My JLA suit?" She pulled herself up on her elbows. "That's downstairs in the office, where it always is, right next to yours."

"No not your…" Oliver paused. "That might work actually." He shook his head. "No, never mind. I'm talking about your Halloween costume."

"I don't have a Halloween costume." Chloe told him. "I don't really do Halloween."

"You don't do Halloween?" Victor sat next to her. "What does that mean?"

"I mean I don't do Halloween." Chloe sat up. "I don't do costumes, I don't do trick-or-treating."

"Please, I haven't gone trick-or-treating in like two years." Bart scoffed. "We're going to a party."

"You might be going to a party." Chloe said. "The only place I'm going is about five feet to the bathroom to change into my comfy pants then back downstairs to the couch to watch movies all night. I might go to the kitchen and make some popcorn but that's about it."

"That's crap. For one I confiscated your comfy pants, you've been wearing them for the past three months straight and I'm not entirely sure you've been washing them." Oliver said from inside her closet. Chloe narrowed her eyes and hurried into the bathroom. The hook where her pants should have been hanging up was empty. "Also you don't even have anything in here that I could use to make up a costume." He emerged holding up a button up white blouse and a long black skirt. "Librarian?" He asked the guys.

Bart snickered and walked over to Oliver. "How about," he unbuttoned the top four buttons of the shirt and lifted the skirt up. "Sexy Librarian." He offered.

"Would you get out of my closet?" She took the clothes from Oliver and hung them back up. "Give me back my comfy pants and get out of my house please?"

"No." Oliver reached in his jacket and pulled something out. "I managed to score us each an invitation to the most exclusive Halloween party in the state, possibly the country. You're going." Chloe looked at the invitation in his hands and her eyes widened. Somehow, inexplicably, beyond all reason and understanding, Oliver had managed to get his hands on five tickets to the hottest party around, the Starlight Lounge. People had been talking about this place for months. One day it was just there but no one could get in, members only, uber exclusive, ridiculously secretive. The thing was no one even knew someone who was a member, there weren't even any rumors of a friend of a friend's brother's cousin's wife being a member, Oliver wasn't even a member.

Then one day, invites started showing up on the door steps of the rich and famous. The mailing list seemed to be lifted right from the Forbes 500 list. Oliver's had shown up the week before but it had only been for him, not even a plus one. Somehow he'd scored four more. Still between partying with the upper crust of the upper crust and her own well thought out plans for the evening, she much preferred to stay at home.

"I'm really not." Chloe shook her head. "But bonus points for persistence."

"Come on Chloe, it's not just that it's going to be an awesome party, which it will be. But it's a costume party. You get to dress up and pretend to be someone else for the night. How do you not see the fun in that?" Bart asked.

"I dress up and pretend to be someone else on quite a regular basis and so do you so it's not really that much of a novelty any more, also I'm not four." Chloe said. "Really guys I've got the extra buttery popcorn a bottle of wine, and Die Hard One, Two, Three, and Four. You guys are more than welcome to have fun at your party dressed up like idiots."

"Excuse me." Bart glared at her, sped out of the room and was back a minute later adjusting the cuffs on his very impressive tuxedo. "James Bond never looks like an idiot."

Chloe whistled at him and walked around him, straightening the shoulders of his jacket and brushing off imaginary dust. "Very nice." She tweaked his bowtie. "I just wonder, are you going to be wearing a name tag?"

"Why would I wear a name tag?" Bart asked.

"It's just, how will people know that you're James Bond and not…I don't know…a waiter."

"A waiter?" Bart scoffed. "No one's going to mistake me for a waiter." He shook his head.

"Hold on." Chloe reached for the pillow on the bed and shook it out of its case. She folded it over a few times, lifted Bart's arm and draped the pillowcase over it. "Waiter." She smiled, pulled the pillowcase away. "James Bond." Victor tried to hold in his laughter.

"It's uncanny really." AC smiled as Chloe kept going.

"Waiter." She put the pillowcase back on. "James Bond." She took it off again.

"I get the point." Bart glared at her. "I'll be sure to steer clear of any pillowcases."

"I'm just messing with you." Chloe tossed the pillowcase to the mattress. "You look very dashing." She assured him, frowned, licked her finger and whipped a smudge off his cheek.

"Why do you always do that?" Bart squirmed moving away from her and Chloe laughed because she knew if he hated it that much he could be halfway across the country before she'd even finished licking her finger.

"Because I know you hate it." She turned away from him and started to go through her drawers, trying to figure out where Oliver put her pants. They had to be somewhere in her apartment, it's not like they were in his back pocket. "Half the time there's not even anything on your face."

"Come on Chloe, what are we going to do at the party if you're not there to help us make fun of Bart?" Victor smiled.

"I don't know, chat up a nice looking girl, maybe get a phone number." Chloe offered giving up on the dresser and dropping to the floor to look under the bed.

"Chloe." AC chimed in.

"I'm not going." She snapped at them standing up, her patience wearing really thin. "And seriously Oliver where the hell are my pants?" The room was suddenly very still and Chloe sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Guys." Oliver nodded to the door and they walked out. He sat down on the bed and patted the mattress. Chloe walked over and sat next to him.

"I didn't mean to snap, it's just been a long day." She rubbed her neck.

"It's fine. I thought you might want to get out of the house is all. You're always working these days and when you're not working you're holed up here and they miss you is all." He snuck a glance at her. "_We_ miss you."

"I know, I just haven't felt like going out lately." Chloe explained.

"Is it…" He sucked in a breath. "Is it about Jimmy? Because no one's expecting you to move on, to start dating someone new or anything…just go out, have fun with friends."

"No." Chloe smiled softly assuring him. "It's not about Jimmy, really honestly."

"Then what is it?" Oliver asked her.

"It's…" Chloe stopped. What could she say? There was no way in hell she was telling him the truth. She couldn't say, "Why no Oliver, I haven't been squeamish about going out because I'm hung up on the memory of my dead ex-husband. In fact, I've been squeamish about going out because I've recently realized that I'm in love with you and I think I may have always been a little bit in love with you and I have no idea how to act around you when it's not a work related matter". She couldn't say, "I hide in this house because I can't breathe when you're around and lately you're always around". She'd been very good at hiding it for the past, God had it been six months; there was no way she was going to blurt it out now. "I just really like watching Bruce Willis blow shit up." Chloe smiled.

"Ok, fine." Oliver stood up. "You don't want to tell me, you don't have to tell me." He pulled one of the invitations out of his pocket and set it on her nightstand. "If you change your mind, I've still got Lois' costume from a few years ago at the Clock Tower."

"Thanks." Chloe smiled up at him. He nodded and walked out of the room and down the stairs. She lay back on the mattress and groaned then jumped up and ran after him. "Wait." She called out and took the steps two at a time and when she hit the bottom she realized she was only in her socks and they offered her no purchase on the hardwood floors so she went sliding.

Oliver reached out quickly and grabbed her waist, stopping her slide and keeping her upright. Chloe looked up at him breathless from the unexpected exercise and the close proximity to Oliver and he smiled. "Careful there." He whispered. Chloe blushed and extracted herself from his arms. "Did you need something?" He asked her amused.

"Right." She sputtered. "My pants?" He still just stared at her. "I do wash them."

"Check under the mattress." He winked and walked to the door.

***************

Chloe found her comfy pants under the mattress, changed her clothes, popped her popcorn and put in Die Hard Two. For some reason she always watched the second one first. She opened up her computer, started up the program Bart liked to call "Big Brother" and poured a glass of wine. She stared at the five blinking dots and something inside of her instantly felt better. She knew they were going to a party, she knew that they weren't on assignment and that she had no logical reason to fear for their safety but still she kept the program on.

She'd initially set it up for Oliver a long time ago. After Bart had been captured by Lex. Everyone got a chip, behind the ear, right under the skin. It was strange at first and it itched for three days and Chloe still swears that every now and then she can feel it but she can't. She barely ever used it before, only in emergency situations. Between Lois' three month jaunt to the future, Clark taking off on her and Jimmy dying, she found herself starting to check it periodically during the day and now it was always on constantly at night. Those blinking dots felt like her life line sometimes.

She turned her attention back to the TV screen as Bruce Willis discussed his dislike of technology. _"As far as I'm concerned progress peaked with frozen pizza."_ Chloe smiled, engrossing herself in the movie so deeply that she didn't notice when one of the five blinking lights blinked faster and then went out completely.

Two hours later she was standing by the DVD player holding a copy of Die Hard 1 in one hand and 4 in the other debating whether she should start at the beginning or jump to the end. She stared at the last movie and sighed. Sure a lot of people gave the movie crap calling it the worst of the bunch, for Christ sake at one point Bruce Willis was hanging off the wing of a fighter jet in the middle of downtown DC, but Chloe really liked the fight scene with the chick at the power plant. "Screw it." She said dropping the first movie to the table, finishing the last of her wine and popping Live Free or Die Hard in the player.

She glanced over at her computer out of habit and almost didn't notice it at first, then she did a double take, saw only one dot, and her wine glass fell to the ground, shattering. She grabbed the laptop and started typing rapidly. There was her dot, blinking bright and steady, right where she was supposed to be, but of Oliver, Bar, AC and Victor there was no trace, they'd just disappeared. "Son of a bitch." She groaned pulling out her phone and dialing AC. She got no response from him and moved onto Bart who answered on the fifth ring.

"Holy shit my phone works here?" He said sounding breathless.

"Works where?" Chloe asked him frantically. "You just vanished from Big Brother, where the hell are you?"

"We went to the party right and-" There was a loud sort of explosion and Chloe heard a lot of rustling then Bart's voice, sounding further away. "That was not cool, I was having a conversation." He protested and then the line went dead.

Chloe tried Victor and then Oliver and neither of them answered. As the explosions that she'd found so enticing earlier sounded off behind her, and Bruce Willis did things she knew Oliver couldn't even pull off (but secretly wanted to try), all she could think about were the explosions she'd heard from Bart's phone and the fact that she had been completely cut off from everyone.

She didn't know what to do, she was suddenly frozen in fear, staring at the screen, at the place where those lights should have been, but they were gone. She started to hyperventilate, her hands were shaking and she didn't know what to do, she couldn't think about anything except the fact that they were gone. AC was gone, Bart was gone, Victor was gone, Oliver was… "Oh God." Chloe put her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

She lay on the cold tile floor, gasping for breath and staring down into the toilet bowl willing herself not to throw up. This is what she did, this was her job, she spent most of her days doing stuff like this. When a situation arose, she studied all the information available, determined the best course of action and then saved the day…well usually she sat behind the computer and explained to everyone on the field how to save the day but the principle was the same.

Only this time she wasn't worried about nameless, faceless people or a string of impersonal data. This was her team, this was her family and they were missing and the only thing she could concentrate on was how ridiculously blue her toilet water was. She couldn't remember ever changing out the cleaner but knew that with the guys constantly coming and going, they were way beyond the 2000 flushes suggested and she was impressed by the product. She vowed to go online at her earliest convince and praise them on a couple message boards. Then she wondered if there were even message boards where she could go and praise a toilet cleaner and then she started laughing.

Her friends were missing, possibly dead and she was thinking about toilet cleaners. She instantly sobered up, threw up the popcorn and red wine she'd had earlier and then got up before she could wax poetic about the new purple color the water had turned. She splashed water on her face, rinsed her mouth out a few times and then got to work.

She started up the program's history. Their vitals hadn't flat lined so at least she could be relatively sure that they hadn't just dropped dead. ". A diagnostic of the chips showed that they were still fully functional. They didn't disappear at the same time; Bart was first, then Oliver, then AC, and finally Victor. She checked the last place the signal came from and each of them were in the same place; the Starlight Lounge.

"How did I not see this coming? I knew that this night would end with me in some stupid costume. I'm so blaming Oliver for this after I save his ass." She groaned grabbing an empty bag and heading to her office to get supplies. She twisted the bust of Shakespeare on the bookshelf counter clockwise and a hidden panel in the wall popped open.

She loved her super secret Watchtower room. It was the first renovation that she made to the place and was giddy with every secret lever and hidden panel that she put in. She flipped the lights on and opened a cabinet, surveying the cache of supplies that were in front of her. "OK, I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm going to be getting myself into so what do I bring?" There was a grappling hook, an axe, different knives and daggers, a mace, a bunch of different types of crossbows, a harpoon, ninja throwing stars, a few guns and the odd grenade launcher. Chloe grunted and bit her bottom lip. "W.W. J.M. D? What would John McClane do?"

John McClane would totally grab the guns but Chloe wasn't really as adept with them as she was with the other things. She grabbed the throwing stars, the axe, tossed in a few daggers and crossbows. She reached out for the harpoon then thought better of it, it was bulky. Same for the grenade launcher. She threw a few other things and some portable tech in the bag and then turned back and stared at the cabinet, grabbing the grappling hook as an afterthought.

****************

She got out of the cab and stared at the building of the Starlight Lounge, making sure that the bag was hidden underneath her cloak and that she had her invitation in her hand. She walked up the steps and flashed the invite to the bouncer who nodded her in as a doorman held the door open for her. She tried to not feel so self conscious in her costume but she couldn't help it. Normally when she was pretending to be someone else, at least she had a mask; at least she had a purpose, now she just felt like a five year old gearing up to beg people for candy.

She waited behind a couple who appeared to be dressed as Tarzan and Jane while their invites were checked by a woman. Breaking up a contest to see who could reach the other's tonsils first, the woman at the table had them write something down on a bit of parchment before they could go inside. Chloe moved up to the table and waited as the woman dropped the parchment in an ornate crystal bowl.

She smiled and passed the woman her invite. "It's a very quiet party." Chloe frowned as the woman thoroughly inspected her invitation. The customs official at Metropolis International hadn't even spent that long scrutinizing her passport the last time she left the country, and that one had actually been a forgery.

"Keys in the basket." The woman held out a wicker basket.

"This isn't like a swinger's thing is it?" Chloe asked hesitantly.

"Oh no sweetie." The woman smiled at her. "It's a drinking and driving thing."

Chloe nodded and dropped her keys in the basket. "Now I just need your name and who you're dressed up as." The woman slid a small piece of parchment and an honest to God quill pen toward Chloe who picked it up hesitantly. "It's for the door prizes." The woman explained.

"Sure." Chloe grabbed the quill and a slip of the parchment, wrote down who she was dressed up as and handed them back.

"Oh, Maid Marion." She smiled. "We had a Robin Hood earlier. Maybe you two will find each other." She smiled sweetly.

Of course, Oliver would dress up like Robin Hood for the hundredth Halloween in a row. "Maybe." Chloe smiled and headed for the curtain. Just as she parted the fabric panels the woman dropped the slip of paper into the bowl and Chloe stepped over the threshold.

Expecting a wild party, the party of the century apparently, imagine Chloe's surprise when she found herself alone in a very small, very quiet room. She looked around more intently, every fiber of her being screaming that something was wrong. The floor was made of slats of old wood. It looked soft however, worn from years of use. The furnishings were simple, a large wooden table with a bench, also wooden. They looked old and handcrafted. In the far corner there was a small bed frame with a very lumpy looking mattress on it.

"What the hell?" Chloe unhooked the cloak, pulled the bag off her shoulder and dropped it to the ground before walking to the window and looking out. She immediately pulled away, taking a breath and then looked again only to find herself face to face with a bustling village scene.

A woman smiled stepping to the right to move out of another's way as she carried a straw basket of linens down the street. There were people walking everywhere, not a car or even a bicycle in sight but there were horses, lots and lots of horses. Everyone was dressed in clothes similar to hers. She looked down, gripping the folds of her skirt and just stared. This was not the dress that she'd worn to the party. It was heavier, less decorative, the fabric softer and well warn and the color dimmer and faded from multiple washings and real use.

"What the hell?" Chloe jerked her head back into the house and took a deep breath trying to figure out what was going on.

"Marion!" Someone screamed from outside the house and Chloe ignored it, inspecting the room for something, anything that would give her a clue. "Marion!" The voice was more insistent and Chloe glanced out the window curiously to see a man standing in the front of her house with a cavalcade of men in armor standing guard behind him. "Marion, if you don't come out, I'm coming in."

She watched as the man nodded to the guards behind him and they moved forward as one toward her house. Scared and confused Chloe moved back just as the downstairs door was forced open and the men invaded the house, ran up the stamps and forced their way into the room. "What are you doing?" Chloe asked them, kicking the bag behind her to hide it under the cot in the corner.

"I'm sorry about this my lady." One of the men said before two others grabbed her forcibly.

"Get your hands off of me." Chloe struggled to be released but their grip was firm as they dragged her from the room, down the stairs, and outside, shoving her to the ground. She lifted her head to see the man who'd been screaming, glaring down at her with such hatred in his eyes. "What do you think you're doing?" Chloe tried to stand up but hands on either side of her shoulders shoved her back to her knees.

"You're under arrest."

"I'm what?" Chloe scoffed.

"For aiding and abetting a known enemy of the crown." The man continued.

"Look there's been some kind of mistake." Chloe tried to reason with him.

"I saw you." He screamed. Chloe shut her mouth, whoever this guy was, whoever he thought Chloe was, he was pissed. He crouched down until he was level with her. "Where is Robin Hood?"

"Robin Hood?" Chloe resisted the urge to laugh because she was sure that wouldn't go over too well.

"Where is he?"

"In Sherwood Forest I'd assume." She tried and failed to hide her smirk.

"We know that. Where in the forest?" The man spit in her face. "Where is his camp?"

"You're being serious?" Chloe asked astonished.

"Of course I'm being serious." He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "How long have you been lying to me?"

Chloe didn't know what to say to this because she didn't know if she had been lying and if so, for how long, so she said the only thing she thought would possibly make a difference. "I'm sorry." She offered the man.

"So am I." He stood and walked away from her, putting his hands behind his back and turning away from her as if she wasn't even there. "Take her to the dungeons."

"Sir Guy." One of the guards stepped forward.

"Take her to the dungeon." He screamed and then turned and walked in the other direction.

"The dungeon? When he says dungeon does he mean…" Chloe looked at the guards who pulled her to her feet and dragged her away.

When the iron bars slammed shut in Chloe's face she nodded. "Right, so he meant actual dungeons then." She looked around at the stone walls, the dark, damp, cramped space and sighed, sliding down the wall to the ground. A rat scuttled across the floor in the corner and Chloe looked at it thoughtfully. "I guess we're not in Kansas anymore."

She was brought water and a piece of stale bread but no one had come to tell her anything, like how long she was going to be there, why she was being held. No one offered her a lawyer or a phone call but those were really long shots anyway. At some point she must have fallen asleep because she woke violently when someone slammed something into the bars. She scrambled to her feet and stared out into the darkness. "Marion." The man was not that much taller than herself, balding, with close cropped hair and a sinister smile on his face. Chloe hated him instantly.

She'd at least managed to make the connection that whatever was going on here, people thought she was Marion. Chloe assumed, based on the question of the where-abouts of Robin Hood, the dress code, and the fact that earlier that night she'd put on the woman's costume, that she was being mistaken for Maid Marion, the Maid Marion.

Based on all these facts and the icky feeling she got radiating off this guy in front of her she took a chance. "Sheriff." She walked closer to the bars and the man nodded at her.

"Where is Robin Hood?" He asked, that sickly sweet smile still on his face.

"Probably where you left him." Chloe joked.

"Where is Robin Hood?" His smile never faltered.

"Have you tried the freezer, don't ask me why but when I can't find my keys they're always in the freezer." Chloe smiled, enjoying herself.

"Where is Robin Hood?" He asked again, his smile loosening a bit.

"He's off to see the wizard." Chloe put her face right up against the bars.

"Where is Robin Hood!" The Sheriff screamed it this time and Chloe flinched back a bit.

"I don't know." She screamed back.

The sheriff nodded at the guard who opened the cell and grabbed Chloe pulling her out. "Maybe some fresh air will jog your memory."

"I doubt it but if you think it'll help." Chloe smiled sweetly at him as she was dragged from the room.

Chloe tried to move her neck, hoping to find some position that was even slightly more comfortable. She already had a crick in her neck from falling asleep against the stone wall and now this. When the Sheriff had suggested some time in the fresh air, this was not what she imagined. "So then they really did put people in the stocks." Her neck and wrists were sore from where they were being held in the wooden contraption, her back wasn't any better off from staying bent over for so long, her legs were threatening to give out and she was dying for a bathroom.

"Don't worry my Lady." A woman walked by, her face covered by the hood of a cloak but from her vantage point Chloe could see the ghost of a smile on her face. "I have a feeling you won't be here much longer."

Chloe squinted confused as the woman hurried on her intended course as a familiar face emerged from the castle.

"So has your memory been jogged at all?" The sheriff sauntered up to her, Guy, who she was assuming was Guy of Gisborn behind him standing stoically.

"Actually yeah." Chloe blew some hair out of her face. "I don't always leave my keys in the freezer, sometimes I leave them in the bathroom sink."

"Maybe a flogging will bring something more useful to mind."

"Of that I can guarantee you're wrong." Chloe looked up at the man.

"A flogging?" Guy looked between Chloe and the Sheriff.

"Do you have a problem with that?" The Sheriff asked. "A problem with punishing the traitor? The traitor who has been aiding and abetting Robin Hood right under our noses for the past two years?"

"No my Lord." Guy's face hardened.

"Ten." The Sheriff nodded at another guard who stepped forward pulling a whip from his belt.

"This is not going to end well." Chloe offered as a guard took Chloe out of the stocks and she massaged her wrists.

"Have faith my Lady." The guard said as he led her over to the post.

"Right, cause having faith never got anyone killed." Chloe said snidely and to her surprise the guard smiled then winked at her.

Chloe frowned as he very loosely tied her wrists to the pole, winked again and then walked away. Something very peculiar was going on. She winced when she heard the sound of a whip cracking behind her. "Last chance my dear." The Sheriff was suddenly behind her ear and his breath on her neck made Chloe shiver with revulsion. "Where is Robin Hood?"

Chloe turned her head a little so that she was able to look at the man. "I'm assuming the same place your soul is hiding."

"You've gotten…cheeky all of a sudden." The Sheriff said and Chloe smiled. "That wasn't a compliment." He sneered and then stepped back. "Begin." The Sheriff said. "I'll check in again after lash number five."

"I'm waiting with bated breath." Chloe said nervously. Her whole back tensed up waiting for the whip. She could fell a small puff of air and then she heard a loud thunk. She turned her head to the side and saw the tip of the whip stuck into the post beside her by an arrow. Her heart lurched into her throat and she turned her head to the other side just as the Sheriff screamed.

"I believe you're looking for me." A man said from high atop the battlements. Another arrow flew from his bow attached to it a rope. He slid down the rope and hurried to the platform that Chloe was on. The guard who had tied Chloe to the post threw off his helmet and pulled his sword just as other men seemed to crawl out of the wood work, brandishing their own weapons, swords, staffs, bows.

Chloe tugged on the ropes, loosening them a little but not enough. "Oh come on." Chloe groaned twisting her wrists around. She could hear the sounds of a fight behind her, swords clashing guards falling and she was going to be damned if she missed out on all the action.

"Allow me." A hand reached up and with a flick of his wrist the ropes fell to the ground.

"What the hell took you so long?" Chloe turned around and smirked up at the man in the green hood. He stopped, pushed the hood back and his face split into a huge grin. The beard was new but it was Oliver none the less.

"Chloe?" He asked astonished and Chloe jumped into his arms. She didn't realize how much she'd been aching to see him until he appeared in all his glory right in front of her.

"Oh God am I glad to see you." She gripped him tightly, finally able to let out the breath she'd been holding since she noticed that his light wasn't on anymore.

"What…how did you…" Oliver pushed her back to look at her, to reaffirm that it was really Chloe, that she was really there in front of him.

"This is very touching guys, really, but we've got to get out of here." The man who'd been dressed as the guard walked up and looked between them.

"Right." Oliver grabbed Chloe's hand. "Follow me, do what I say." She opened her mouth to protest at this order. "Just this once, listen to me?"

"Just this once." Chloe smirked as he dragged her through the square. They gathered people as they ran, the men who had been fighting the guards following them out of the castle. The gate was falling and they just managed to slip under it. It slammed shut behind them and the men let out a yelp of joy.

They were struggling to raise the gate and let the guards through as Chloe, Oliver and the others made it out into the town of Locksley. As they passed the outskirts of the city Chloe realized something. "Wait, my bag." She slid her hand out of Oliver's and headed back to the town.

"Hey!" Oliver stopped and changed directions to go after her. "We can't. The guards." He grabbed her arm again, pulling her toward him and knocking her off balance.

"If you ever want to get out of here, I need my bag." Chloe argued trying in vain to pull herself free.

Oliver looked behind them where the guards were just reaching the town of Locksley. "Damn it. Alan?" Oliver looked over at the man who'd dressed up as the guard, still in partial armor.

"Yeah, alright." He sighed in frustration.

"It's a large black bag, under the cot in the bedroom." Chloe explained to him.

"The things I do for you." Alan sighed and ran back toward the village, head on into the charging army of guards.

"Come on." Oliver gave another slight tug on Chloe's arm and pulled her into the forest. As soon as they broke through the tree line Oliver called out, "Split." And everyone else suddenly vanished. Chloe peered around desperately but couldn't see the others as Oliver dragged her through the forest.

"Where'd they go?" She asked confused.

"We split up to throw them off our trail." Oliver explained.

"Good thinking." Chloe was starting to get winded and hoped they weren't planning on running forever. "You maybe want to fill me in?"

"Don't know much." Oliver said ducking under a low hanging branch as he yanked her to the left. "Went to the party, came here instead. They think I'm Robin Hood, they think you're Marion. Just go along with it."

"Right." Chloe nodded. "Awesome." She could hear the shouts behind her, the hard slap of the horse's hooves on the packed dirt ground. "I hate you." She panted, barely preventing herself tripping over a large tree root.

"Liar." Oliver glanced back at her and flashed her his best Oliver Queen smile. "You trust me?" He asked and before she could answer he'd turned sharply to the right, pulled her to his chest. He held her there as the ground came out from under them and then they were falling, sliding.

They rolled to an abrupt stop, Oliver slamming heavily into Chloe as she slammed heavily into the ground. She was about to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing when Oliver slapped his hand over her mouth. "Shh…" He whispered. They were in some sort of cave like thing and he was staring out at the opening.

Chloe was in no way comfortable. There were rocks and sticks poking into her back, her ankle hurt from falling on it wrong and Oliver wasn't exactly a lightweight lying on top of her and she was pissed. He had her arms pinned to the ground so she bucked her hips in an attempt to dislodge him.

His head turned sharply to Chloe's face, his eyes wide. "Don't…" He managed to strangle out and Chloe just narrowed her gaze at him and tried again only to freeze as Oliver's breath hitched and his hand moved off of her mouth to grab her hips and still them. "Don't move." He whispered to her urgently, his pupils were slightly dilated and Chloe finally understood, could feel the reason for his distress pressing insistently against her hip.

Chloe decided the best course of action was to pretend as if nothing happened. She looked around to familiarize herself with her surroundings and noticed that wherever they were, it was very shallow. A large rock ceiling wasn't that far from Chloe's head, in fact it was likely scratching the hell out of Oliver's back. To her left was the hole that they'd slid down, it looked man made and she thought this must be some secret hiding place. To her right was the opening that led out into the forest, barely large enough for a person to slide through and Chloe briefly wondered how they were going to get out.

"Sorry." Oliver mumbled as he purposefully took deep breaths in and out.

"It was my fault." Chloe countered. She pressed herself far into the ground, trying to get as much space between them as she could. She was about to ask why he didn't just get off of her, crawl out of the cave when she heard horses and voices.

"They can't have gotten far. Find them and bring me Marion alive." Chloe recognized Guy's voice.

"And Robin?" A guard asked.

"Bring me his head." Guy said and the guards took off. The horse's hooves shook the ground a little and Chloe slid over a bit. If Oliver wasn't going to try and get out then she would.

"Wait." Oliver whispered in her ear, forcing her eyes closed as his breath sent shivers down her entire body, the sensation vastly different than what she experienced earlier with the Sheriff. She heard a twig snap and turned to the entrance to see one horse still standing there. It must have been Guy's horse, waiting for his troops to come back.

Chloe turned away, anticipating a very long wait and she found Oliver staring down at her. "Hi." She said for lack of anything better and he just smiled.

"Hi." He whispered back.

She had no idea what to say next and was saved the trouble when Guy's horse walked ahead a bit, straight over top of them sending a small rain of dirt and rocks right into Chloe's face. Oliver quickly brushed as much of it away as he could but she could still taste the dirt on her tongue. "I hate you." Chloe reiterated yet again, making sure to belabor the point.

"You really are a bad liar Sidekick." Oliver whispered as he gently brushed the dirt from her cheeks.

Even when the dirt was gone still he brushed her cheeks and she realized that his face had gotten even closer to her own . Chloe knew that there was little more than half an inch between her lips and his and she wouldn't even have to move very far to close that distance. Suddenly he was doing it for her, moving closer and closer. His head turned sharply to the right as they heard what sounded like shouting off in the distance and Guy's horse took off.

Chloe breathed out a sigh of relief, bringing Oliver's attention back to her. "You think he's gone?" She swallowed nervously.

"I don't know." Oliver whispered, somehow even closer than he was before. "I think we should stick it out for a while longer. Just in case." His lips were practically on hers when a shadow fell over the entrance to the cave.

"Oy." Alan said panting. "I got the stupid bag." Chloe and Oliver both turned to him and saw him holding up her duffel bag with a smirk.

"Guy's men are still in the forest." Oliver said without even a passing glance to Chloe as he slid off her body, slowly and painfully and pulled himself free of the small space.

Now that Oliver's body was no longer on top of hers and Chloe was not longer distracted she started to notice a few things, like how she still had dirt and rocks in her nose and mouth, like how her back was slightly wet and cold. "What were you two doing in the latrine?" Alan asked Oliver a smirk on his face.

"Latrine?" Chloe turned her head to glare at Oliver as she crawled out of the cave.

"I can explain." Oliver held up his hands. "We had nowhere else to go, they were like two feet behind us."

"The Latrine?" Chloe asked him again.

"Let me guess?" He smirked at her, flashing his dimples. "You hate me."

"Oh so very much." Chloe said with a quiet subdued anger before turning and stomping off.

"Hey." Oliver called after her and she turned around carefully. "Camp is this way." He pointed in the opposite direction that she was heading and without a word Chloe turned and followed him. She was walking stiffly, trying to keep her body away from the dress. "Would sorry help any?"

"I was having a nice quiet evening at home. Some wine, some Bruce Willis and now, I'm covered in urine and God knows what else. You really want to go with 'sorry'?" Chloe asked him through clenched teeth.

"Ok." Oliver moved to sling his arm over her shoulder then thought better of it and stopped. "A new car. Everyone loves new cars."

"I'm not talking to you." Chloe said with one final glare. Oliver led Chloe back to camp and sure enough, she didn't speak to him when they got there, she didn't speak as they built a fire, or as they cooked dinner and Oliver had a fleeting thought that she may never speak to him again.

*************

"So these are your Band of Merry Men?" Chloe's lips quirked into a smile as she plopped down on the log next to Oliver, warming her hands on the fire.

"Oh you're talking to me again?" Oliver smiled poking at the flames. He snuck a quick glance at her. She'd washed and been given a change of clothes. She looked more relaxed and more comfortable now that she was out of the dress and into some pants.

"You're the only one who doesn't think I'm fragile little Maid Marion. Besides, everyone else has gone to bed." Chloe snorted. "Don't really have much of a choice." The quick glance in his direction followed by a bright smile let Oliver know she was just kidding, that he'd been forgiven.

"Right." Oliver nodded. "Yes." He answered her previous question. "These are my men."

"I'm having a hard time placing everyone." Chloe admitted sheepishly.

"That's Will." Oliver pointed at the young man asleep under the tree.

"Will Scarlett?" Chloe asked, connecting the name to characters from the story.

Oliver shrugged. "Since we're supposed to already know each other, I've never gotten a last name." He smiled at Chloe. "The big guy snoring is John, the scrawny one is Alan, and the one who does the bulk of the complaining is Much."

Chloe nodded recalling all of them. "Who's she?" Chloe pointed to the woman sleeping on the other side of the fire, the woman who'd taken her to the stream to clean off and given her new clothes, who she now realized was the very same woman who'd talked to her when she was in the stocks earlier.

"That's Djaq." Oliver smiled.

"I don't remember her." Chloe shook her head.

"Me either. She's a Saracen. Brilliant with herbs and medicine. Patched me up good when I got injured." Oliver patted his stomach lightly and suddenly Chloe's whole demeanor changed.

"You got hurt?" She asked moving forward, her fingers edging the bottom of his shirt up.

"It's fine, she stitched me and patched me and I'm good as new." Oliver protested.

"Good as new?" Chloe raised an eyebrow as his bandage came into view. His very wet, very red bandage. "Was this before or after the jumping off buildings and sliding into caves?" She raised her eyebrows but didn't wait for an answer. Before Oliver could protest she'd gotten up, found the medical supplies and was back at his side, peeling away the old bandage and applying a new one, her face a mask of total concentration.

To keep himself from thinking about the feel of Chloe's fingers on his stomach he coughed and tried to distract himself. "So how did you get here? How did you even know I was here?"

"You do employ me for more than my startling wit." Chloe smirked up at him. "When I ran my diagnostic you guys all disappeared from the same place, the Starlight Lounge, so I figured the party had to have something do with it." She smiled, deliberately leaving out the part where she managed to find him only by pure luck, allowing him to assume what he wanted of her perceived brilliance.

"I'd figured that much out. Never even made it to the party. I'm not sure there ever was a party. All I know is I walked through that curtain and suddenly I'm in a forest and people are calling me Robin." Oliver winced as she cleaned the cut.

"Ditto." Chloe said. "Except I was in a house and they were calling me Marion."

"So somehow walking through that curtain turned us into whoever we were dressed up as?" Oliver asked.

"I don't know." Chloe admitted. "I mean there are quite a few possible explanations."

"But you've got a theory don't you?" Oliver asked as she secured the new bandage in place.

"Of course I do." Chloe looked up at him. Being in the stocks had given her a lot of time to think about this whole thing. She's gone to this party dressed up like Maid Marion and then suddenly found herself someplace that looked decidedly medieval, with a man who called himself the Sheriff of Nottingham, who was looking for Robin Hood and so on and so on. Something had brought her to this place, made everyone here think that she was this person.

She'd ruled out the costume being at fault right away seeing as how when she got here she was no longer wearing her original costume. Also Lois had worn the same thing three years ago and not found herself suddenly plunged into a mythical world. So she'd come to the same conclusion that Oliver had. Something at the "party" was the most likely culprit.

"The easiest and most obvious explanation is that this is some sort of mind trip." Chloe explained. "That we're not really here, that we just think we're here."

"You're saying this is a dream?" Oliver shook his head and looked down at the bloody bandages and then his still throbbing stomach wound. "It doesn't feel like a dream."

"I know." Chloe let out a puff of air. "Plus, when it first happened, I called Bart. How could I have done that if this was all in our heads?"

"You called Bart?" Oliver frowned.

"I called Bart!" Chloe brightened and jumped up. "Give me your phone."

"I lost it when I got here." Oliver shrugged. "It fell out somewhere in the forest."

That explained why Oliver hadn't answer when she called him. She jumped up and grabbed the bag from where Alan had dropped it earlier. "I talked to Bart for like two seconds before something happened that involved explosions and shouting and possibly gun fire." Chloe dug through her bag. "If his phone worked wherever he was, it stands to reason that my phone will work here." She started tossing things out of the bag. "If I can find the stupid thing." She grumbled throwing the grappling hook over her shoulder. Oliver picked it up.

"What exactly did you think was going to happen here?" He laughed at her swinging the hook around.

"Shut up." Chloe glared at him. "I was watching Die Hard before this, you know how Bruce Willis gets me all riled up."

"Please tell me there aren't any explosives in that bag." Oliver took a step back.

Chloe froze and then resumed her search slightly more carefully than she had been before. "Ok then, I won't tell you." Chloe said pulling out the phone and holding it up in victory. She jumped to her feet and stared down at the screen. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Don't tell me your battery is dead." Oliver looked down.

"No, it's not that." Chloe looked up in disbelief. "I have full bars, here, in crazy make believe freaking Sherwood Forest, I have four bars. And 3G. I can't even get two bars in the office half the time, not to mention I never get 3G service, biggest 3G network my ass." Chloe grumbled and stared down at the phone. "Who do I call?"

Oliver opened his mouth then closed it.

"I don't know." He stared at her in astonishment. They already knew calling Bart was out of the question, she hadn't been able to reach Victor or AC before so they didn't see the point in trying again, not that they could have helped anyway, they were all off in their own little world. "There's one option." He said, instantly regretting it as soon as it left his mouth.

The phone rang and rang and rang and Chloe was starting to think maybe this was all in her head, maybe she'd imagined talking to Bart, maybe they were stuck here forever. She was just about to start hyperventilating, imagining herself in a place with no indoor plumbing, living in the woods with people who'd never heard of John McClane when the phone was finally answered.

"I swear to God the entire Eastern seaboard better be on fire or I will kill you." Lois grumbled into the phone.

"Lois!" Chloe sighed in relief. "Lois, I need a favor from you."

"Really?" Lois snorted into the phone. "You need a favor from me. Miss I-got-invited-to-the-party-at-the-Starlight-Lounge -and-didn't-bother-to-invite-my-most-favorite-cousin-in-the-world."

"If that's my new nickname it's quite a mouthful." Chloe joked, happy just to hear a voice from the outside. "Where are you?"

"At the Ace of Clubs." Lois said annoyed as if it was some sort of hardship. "Not all of us get invited to super secret elite Halloween parties, we have to make do and mingle with the little people."

"So it's still Halloween?" Chloe asked her excited. She'd been here at least a day, a day and a half.

"Yeah." Lois spoke slowly. "Are you drunk or something?"

"Never mind. How fast can you get to the Starlight Lounge?" Chloe asked her.

"Fifteen minutes." Lois instantly perked up. "Ten if I take off the heels. How amazing is this party? Are we talking tons of hot single guys or are they just giving away money?" She could hear Lois moving away from the noise and the music, already on her way to the door.

"Why would they be giving away money?" Chloe laughed.

"I don't know. I don't know what they do at those places. It's been so long since I've been in that world and Oliver never took me anywhere like the Starlight Lounge." Lois babbled on.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Uh, I'm over twenty-one, it's my night off and I'm at a party." Lois scoffed.

"You drunk?" Chloe pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping she'd said it low enough that Oliver hadn't heard but by the look on his face, she hadn't.

"Little bit." Lois laughed and Chloe was hit with the familiar sounds of a bustling city, cars and people and noise and she instantly ached for home. "So what are we talking about here? They giving out 20's, 50's, 100's?"

"They're not giving away money." Chloe tried to get the conversation back on track. "There isn't even a party, look I really need your help ok." Chloe explained to Lois the situation.

Lois didn't even miss a beat. Apparently having your cousin call you and claim that she'd been magically transported to a mythical place was just another Saturday night. "How am I going to get in to this ultra exclusive club?" Lois groaned in frustration realizing that her night of partying was over.

"Hey, I'm providing an adventure here, you're the one in the real world. You're going to have to work out some of the logistics on your own." Chloe said.

"I'll call you when I get there." Lois grunted.

"Wait…" Chloe protested but Lois had already hung up the phone. "She's on it." Chloe smiled sheepishly at Oliver.

"She's been drinking hasn't she?" Oliver asked and Chloe winced.

"Not that much." Chloe lied through her teeth.

Twenty minutes later Oliver smiled at Chloe as she stared at the screen on her phone. "You should get some sleep."

"Seriously?" Chloe looked at him. "Lois is going to call back any minute."

"Chloe, how long was it between when you saw me and when you got here?" Oliver asked.

Chloe thought about it. "One Die Hard movie."

"So it was two hours out there in the real world?" Chloe nodded. "It was two weeks in here."

"You've been here two weeks?" Chloe scoffed at him. That at least explained the beard. "Lois said she was fifteen minutes away so…"

"Give her a few days." Oliver reached behind him and grabbed some of the blankets that were draped over a tree branch. He tossed them Chloe. "Get some sleep."

Oliver got off the log and walked over to a well worn spot on the ground. He unfurled his own set of blankets, set up his bed, laid down and closed his eyes. Chloe looked around unsure. "Sidekick you're making me nervous just standing there staring." Oliver cracked one eye open.

"I don't know where to…" She motioned around the area.

Oliver got up and cleared a spot beside him of twigs and leaves. Then he grabbed the blankets from her, setting one down on the ground and patting it softly. "Get some sleep." He laid back in his spot as Chloe situated herself on the ground. Five minutes later Oliver cracked an eye open again. "If you're not planning on sleeping would you at least settle down so I can get some sleep?"

"I'm cold." Chloe rolled over to glare at him.

Oliver rolled on his side to face her, grabbed the edge of her blanket and pulled the whole thing, Chloe included right next to him. He grabbed her blanket and draped it over himself, tossing the other end of his over her. "Come here."

"Oliver what are you doing?" Chloe looked at him confused as he slung his arm around her waist and pulled her up against his chest.

"Warmer?" He asked.

"Yes." Chloe swallowed hard, resting her forehead against his chest. "Thanks."

"Sure." She could feel every syllable vibrate in his chest. There was no way she was getting to sleep now, her body pressed up against Oliver's, his hand, strong and warm on her back, his mouth only inches away. He seemed to have no problem Chloe noticed as his breath slowed and then started to even out. She hated to disrupt him but she really couldn't help it.

"Oliver." She whispered.

"Huh?" He asked, half asleep. Chloe lifted her head up to look at him and waited until he'd opened his eyes. "What?" He looked down at her.

"I have to pee." She bit her lip.

He smiled started laughing. "You know the way back to the latrine?" He asked.

Chloe glared at him. "I really, really hate you." She tossed back her blankets, pulled out of Oliver's arms and stomped over him. Oliver smiled tossed aside his own blankets and grabbed for the bow resting against the tree.

"Chloe wait for me." He called after her. "There are boars in the woods."

"Boars?" He heard her squeak incredulously from somewhere in the distance. "Are you kidding me? Freaking boars? Like giant angry pigs with tusks?"

"I know, I know, you hate me." Oliver followed after her.

Chloe spent next few days skulking around the camp sneaking glances at her phone, hoping, praying for Lois to call her. She knew things would simply run smoother if they pretended to be who everyone else thought they were, so she and Oliver could only talk at night.

"I miss shampoo." Chloe complained. Djaq had offered her some weird goopy soap like stuff but Chloe politely declined. Everyone had gone to bed a few hours before and Chloe was lying in what had become her usual bedtime spot, curled up on Oliver's side, head resting on his chest as they shared body heat to get through the night.

He chuckled and his hand moved from her back and into her hair. "It's not so bad." He said running his fingers through the strands.

"That's disgusting, stop." She smiled and pulled away from his fingers, sitting up to look down on him. "I've been thinking."

"That's never a good thing." Oliver joked and she glared at him. "Ok, what have you been thinking about?" He put his hand on her back and pulled her down.

"I've been thinking about the kind of power it would take to do this. To put us here." Chloe snuggled back into his chest. "It would take a lot of power, I mean a lot. It would be one thing if we had dressed up as someone real and were simply inserted in that person's life." Chloe said.

"It would?" Oliver furrowed his brow.

"Well yeah." Chloe scoffed at him as if he were an idiot. "It's not that difficult to slightly alter a small selection of reality, but that's not what's happened here. Someone completely created from scratch, a detailed and self sustained fictional construct…it's practically impossible."

"You sound like you know this from personal experience." Oliver looked down at her wearily. "Chloe? You haven't been experimenting with altering realties or creating self sustained fictional…things have you?"

"Constructs." Chloe corrected looking up at him. "And not that I know of."

"So what makes you think that's what happened here?"

"Well cases have been made that Robin Hood was a real person, that he actually exist. So you could argue that we were simply sent back in time which is a power that I've seen before, just used in conjunction with some sort of…"

"Reality altering power." Oliver offered and she nodded.

"But James Bond, he's not real, he was made up utterly and completely by Ian Fleming. Bart dressed up like James Bond and when I called him I heard explosions and gun fire so if he was James Bond, and James Bond is fictional…"

"Self sustained fictional construct." Oliver nodded understanding.

"Exactly." Chloe yawned.

"So what does that mean?" Oliver asked her.

"I have no idea." Chloe shrugged. "We have to wait until we hear from Lois."

"Awesome." Oliver smiled. "So long as we have a plan."

Chloe laughed.

****************

Chloe was helping Will sharpen arrow heads as Oliver talked with the others about something, she wasn't really paying attention but slowly certain words were filtering into her mind. "Wait a minute, hold on." She looked over at Oliver. "You're going back into the castle?"

"That's the plan." Oliver nodded.

"Why are you going back into the castle?" Chloe asked.

"Taxes." Oliver said.

"Taxes?" Chloe shook her head. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

"The Sheriff just collected all the taxes from the other villages." Djaq explained. "We only have two days before it's sent to Prince John."

"And we're sure, absolutely sure, that there's no way we can ambush the caravan?" Will asked.

"Twenty of Nottingham's best along with fifty sent here direct from Prince John's personal guard to make sure the gold gets to where it's going?" Much pointed out. "I think we'd be slightly outnumbered."

"Prince John's guards are arriving tomorrow so if we want to do this we have to go in tonight." Oliver said.

"Wait." Chloe stood up. "Are we robbing the Sheriff?"

"That's what we do." Oliver told her.

"Would you guys excuse us for a second?" Chloe grabbed Oliver's arm and practically pulled him to the other side of the camp. "That's what we do?"

"Well yeah." Oliver nodded excitedly.

"You do know you're not actually Robin Hood?" Chloe reminded him.

"But they think I'm Robin Hood." Oliver smiled. "And Robin Hood steals from the Sheriff."

"Ok, but…Oliver you don't have to do this." Chloe explained. "This place, these people they aren't real. Their world isn't going to end if you don't steal from the Sheriff."

"No, their world is going to end as soon as leave it." Oliver snapped at her. Chloe shut up and ducked her head. "It just seems cruel. The least I could do is show them a good time, play along."

"Plus you want to go in, guns blazing so to speak, and stick it to the Sheriff." Chloe smiled up at him.

"He almost had you flogged." Oliver nodded. "So yeah, I really, really want to stick it to him. Besides, stealing from the rich to give to the poor, that's like a day at the office for me."

"Is that what you were doing when this happened?" Chloe lifted up the edge of his shirt. There was no longer a bandage but the scar was red and angry. Her fingers slide softly along the edges, careful not to hurt him, but he shivered at her touch anyway.

"That was actually an unfortunate incident where in I tried to teach Much a trick with the bow and arrow. Something I will not be doing again." Oliver grabbed Chloe's wrist lightly pulling it away from his stomach. "I'll be careful, super careful, extra careful."

"You better." Chloe said. "Because they don't have an emergency room here and my healing powers are still on a perpetual holiday."

"It'd be better if I had my Watchtower…"

"Oh you'll have your Watchtower." Chloe said. "No way in hell I'm letting you go in there alone."

"Would you stay if promised to be careful?" Oliver asked hopefully.

"No." She shook her head. "Because as soon as someone's in danger, you'll do something brave and reckless." She smiled knowingly at him. "Then not only will you have likely gotten yourself killed, you'll have broken a promise to me."

"Oh ye of little faith." Oliver kissed her forehead and walked back to the group. "Change of plans fellows, Marion's coming with us."

"But…" Much looked between Chloe and Oliver. "The Sheriff and Guy are dying to get their hands on her…if they catch her."

"Then we'd better make sure they don't catch her." Oliver said plainly. "Because there's no way in hell she's letting me go without her."

Chloe sat back down and Will handed her the unfinished arrows with a smile. She opened her mouth to offer up a suggestion when her phone chose that moment to start ringing. The chorus of Nazareth's 'Hair of the Dog' rang across the camp. _Now you're messing with a, a son of a bitch!_ "Lois." Chloe jumped up suddenly and Oliver laughed.

"That's Lois' ringtone?" He smirked as she dug through her bag, fumbling for her phone.

_Now you're messing with a, a son of a bitch!_ The phone sounded again and Chloe abandoned her bag and moved onto the blankets that she slept in. When she finally grabbed it, the ringing had stopped. "Son of a bitch." She collapsed on the ground and the phone slipped from her hands.

"She'll call back." Oliver assured her as Much reached forward and picked the slick piece of machinery up.

"What magic is this?" Much asked, the tone of his voice part awe part fear as he just touched the screen, bringing up menu after menu. Somehow he managed to bring up the iPod function and Chloe did not remember having the volume that loud as that as Bon Jovi's voice rang out. _Shot through the heart_!

Much dropped the phone and everyone took a step away from it. Chloe scooped it up and turned it off, looking up at them sheepishly. "Ok, so here's the thing."

**************

"So you're from the future?" Alan asked trying to process what Chloe and Oliver told them.

"No, we're not, well technically we are from a future but not your…" Chloe looked at Oliver who shook his head. She'd been trying for almost two hours to explain that this word was not in fact real, it was some sort of construct, (though Chloe wasn't entirely clear on what sort of construct so she sort of glossed over that part) and that they were from some place, yes technically in the future but not the same future as their future and was it any wonder that she had a headache. The cherry on the cake was that in this time and place they hadn't even invented aspirin yet. "Yep, we're from the future."

"This is crazy." Will shook his head.

"You saw the magical box with the moving pictures and the sound." Much pointed to the device that Djaq was currently investigating.

"My phone." Chloe corrected him, pulling it away from her.

"So you're telling me that you're not Robin." Alan frowned. "And you're not Marion?"

Chloe snorted. "No." Oliver glared at her, for fictional constructs they did require a lot of information. "No, well technically we are but we aren't."

"I'm getting a headache." Much grumbled.

"I'd offer you some aspirin but…" Chloe shrugged helplessly.

"What's aspirin?" Djaq asked.

"Whoever you are." John looked between them pointedly. "The sun will be going down soon."

"Right." Oliver nodded. "Let's get everything ready."

"Hold on." Chloe got a mischievous smile on her face.

"Oh I know that face." Oliver stood up cautiously. "The last time I saw that face it cost me two cars and a severe hike in my insurance premiums." Chloe didn't say anything.

"It's just, if we're going anyway." She said thinking about Lois' phone call and what it meant for their stay in Sherwood Forest. "Why don't we go out with a bang?" She walked over to her bag and started to dig around.

"A bang?" Oliver asked hesitantly and she tossed him the grappling hook as she very carefully pulled something the size of a brick out of her bag. "Holy shit Chloe, is that C4?"

"WWJMD." Chloe said sheepishly.

"What does that mean?" Much asked Oliver.

"It means I'm lucky there are no cars here." Oliver sighed. "Or insurance."

***********

"So you know the plan?" Oliver asked for the hundredth time.

"Of course I know the plan I came up with the plan." Chloe reminded him. "Will you stop fussing please?"

"I just wish you'd thought to bring the comms, in case we get separated." Oliver sighed.

"I didn't know I was going to be running a full fledged Op." Chloe pointed out to him.

"But you remembered the ninja stars, the grappling hook and the C4?" Oliver raised his eyebrows.

"You've got to take the essentials." Chloe smirked up at him.

"Because I'm always thinking to myself, gee I wish I had a grappling hook right about now." Oliver snorted at her.

"Just for that. I'm taking the grappling hook." Chloe grabbed it and slid it up over her shoulder.

"Are we ready?" Alan looked between the two of them, amusement evident on his face.

"Yeah, I'm good." Chloe nodded and started walking toward the village.

"I still don't understand how this little piece of mud is going to open the safe room." Djaq had caught up to her and grabbed for the piece of C4 that Chloe very carefully cut off the brick earlier that day.

"Just…trust me." Chloe pulled the explosive back from Djaq with a smile.

"We can trust her right?" Much asked Oliver as they followed.

"I always have." Oliver shrugged.

It was relatively easy to get into the castle but Chloe knew from experience that it's always easier to get in then to get out. She pulled the hood further down her face, keeping herself hidden as they slipped through the halls. They made it past five guards and Guy without being seen only for Chloe to almost blow the whole thing when they rounded the corner to the safe room and her phone rang.

"Really?" Will glared at her as she pulled it out and answered. She wasn't quick enough though, catching the attention of the two guards on duty.

"Sorry." Chloe winced as Oliver, Will and John ran in head first, fighting off the guards. "Lois, can I maybe, call you back?" She couldn't believe she'd actually said that after waiting almost a week for the phone call.

"Oh I'm sorry am I catching you at a bad time?" Lois hissed into the phone in angry whisper.

"Actually…" Chloe looked around where Will was struggling with a guard as Oliver and John tried to subdue the other.

"Well tough." Lois snapped at her. "You dragged me out of a party, had me rush over to the Starlight Lounge where according to you there are no hot guys or people giving out money. I just broke into the building next door, climbed the fire escape to the roof, jumped from one building to the other and now I'm standing barefoot on a ledge, four stories off the ground trying to shimmy a window open so no, you may not call me back."

"Right, sorry." Chloe winced as the others finished taking care of the guards. "Around the corner." Chloe reminded Oliver before crouching in front of the door.

"I have done this before." Oliver said even as he followed her orders, grabbing the guards and dragging them away from the blast radius.

"Who are you talking to?" Lois asked grunting.

"No one."

"Great, you just keep having conversations with no one, meanwhile I'll break my neck." Lois joked.

"You're not going to break your neck." Chloe scoffed, molding the C4. "Will, weak points?"

"Is she…does she think she's talking to someone?" Will whispered tapping the door for weak points and pointing them out to Chloe.

"I don't know." Djaq shook her head.

"What do you want me to do when I get in here?" Lois asked.

"I don't know." Chloe said. "Figure out what the hell brought us here and bring us back."

"Ok, but…"

"But what?" Chloe placed the C4 where Will told her.

"It's just…the figuring things out…that's your job isn't it?" Lois asked her. "You're the brains and I'm the…well I'm me."

"Well I'm not there right now." Chloe said arming the explosives. "So you're going to have to be the brains for tonight."

"Ok, I can do that." Lois paused. "Just wish I had some smart glasses."

"I think you can do it without the glasses." Chloe finished wiring everything together and attached the timer.

"But the glasses would complete the look." Lois was practically pouting. "Ok, I'm in and I'm still slightly tipsy so maybe you could give me a nudge in the right direction."

"Alright." Chloe set the timer. Djaq kept trying to grab it to study it and Chloe slapped her hand away. "Ok, the curtain maybe? We all walked through the curtain and then we were somewhere else."

"Curtain got it." Lois said. "Doesn't sound like there's a party here, sounds like the building's deserted."

Chloe got up and rounded the corner with everyone else following behind her. She held up her hand and counted down the time on her fingers. When she got to one she covered her ears and they all copied her as the door exploded out into the hallway, filling the whole area with smoke. They all turned to Chloe wide eyed and she just smiled at them.

"Did you just blow something up?" Lois asked her incredulous. "Seriously I'm looking for some…enchanted curtains and you get to go around and blow things up."

"Not things." Chloe corrected. "One thing, blowing up a singular thing."

"Ok, I'm looking at these magical curtains." Lois said. "Don't look so scary to me."

"It took the door clean off." Will stared at the rubble.

"It probably woke up half the castle too." Oliver pointed out. "Let's get the goods and get out of here."

They all walked into the safe room and began hurriedly transferring the gold from the chests into burlap sacks.

"Alright, I'm going to step through the magical curtain." Lois said pulling Chloe back to the task at hand.

"No." Chloe screamed. Everyone in the safe room froze but Lois did not stepping through the curtain. "Not you. Get the gold."

"Well this is incredibly disappointing." Lois sighed.

"Who are you dressed as?" Chloe freaked out. "Where are you?"

"I'm in a closet." Lois told her. "This stupid magical curtain leads into a closet."

"So it's not the curtain." Chloe sighed rubbing her temples.

"What else could it be?" Lois asked.

"Chloe!" Oliver said as they heard the sounds of the guards heading right for them. Will slipped out of the room and ran ahead to scout it out as they finished loading up the last bags of gold.

"Look, Lois I can't talk right now." Chloe thought frantically "The woman, she made me write down my costume with this weird pen and then she put the paper in this ornate crystal bowl. Maybe it was one of those." Chloe hung up the phone just as Will came back in the room panting.

"We've got to go." He said. "They're coming fast."

They grabbed all the bags and took off down the hallway, away from the guards, twisting and turning with the castle walls until they found themselves at a dead end. "Are you kidding me?" Oliver panted, resting his hands on his knees.

"They'll be here any minute." John said worried.

"Looks like the only way out is up." Chloe said and the others followed her gaze a few stories up where there was a window. Chloe turned to Oliver who groaned. "Gee I wish I had a grappling hook right about now." Chloe said then her eyes went wide as if in surprise. "Well what do you know?" She said pulling the rope and hook off of her shoulder.

"Shut up." Oliver smirked at her.

*************

Lois stared down at the phone in her hands in astonishment. Chloe gets to go to a fantastic party, have crazy adventures in Sherwood Forest with Oliver and blow things up and she was stuck searching for a strange pen and a crystal bowl. "This sucks." She said to the empty room.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to see your invitation." A woman said from behind Lois. She spun around quickly.

"Funny story that." Lois smiled and put her hands on her hips. "You're gonna laugh." She held up her hand before darting to the left and spinning around the woman, trying to get to the table.

"Not so fast." The woman grabbed Lois' hair and yanked her back.

Annoyed now Lois slammed her elbow into the woman's ribs and she let go of Lois' hair long enough for her to reach for the table and grab the pen. "Ha!" Lois spun around triumphantly with the pen held aloft and the woman paused. Lois snapped the quill in two and the woman smiled as nothing happened.

"That was anti climactic." Lois frowned as the woman lunged for her, slamming her to the table top.

*************

Chloe pulled herself up through the window and froze. "Come on." Djaq said from behind her. "The guards will be here any minute."

"Yeah." Chloe turned around. "So remember the awesome plan where were climbed up to the window. We sort of forgot to come up with a plan on how to climb down."

Every stopped climbing then, looking at each other then looking away as if to say "well don't ask me". Just when Chloe was about to suggest they climb back down and make a stand against the guards, a horse pulling a cart sped around the corner and stopped in the alley way directly below the window. "Need a ride?" Alan smirked up at her from the driver's seat.

Chloe looked down into the back of the cart piled high with hay. "Hey Oliver? I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah I know." He grunted as he pulled himself up the rope along with about fifty pounds in gold coins. "Just jump already."

Chloe smiled and stepped off the ledge of the window, falling through the air for only a few seconds before landing in a soft cushion of hay. Strong arms sought her out and pulled her up. "You ok?" Alan asked.

"That was fun." Chloe smirked pulling herself to her feet. "Help the other's get down, I've got to do something." She scrambled out of the back of the cart as Djaq came flying through the air and walked over to the castle wall.

****************

Lois kicked out as hard as she could, her left food colliding painfully with the woman's shin. The momentary distraction allowed Lois a brief freedom and she pulled herself to her feet and ran for the table again. She grabbed the large crystal bowl and raised it above her head. "No, stop." The woman panted pulling herself up.

Lois threw the bowl to the floor and it shattered spectacularly as the woman screamed in outrage, but nothing else happened. "You've got to be kidding me." Lois panted out. "That wasn't it either?"

"No." The woman said angrily. "But it was a very expensive bowl." She stalked toward Lois. "Antique Waterford."

"Sorry." Lois said in a tone that didn't sound as if she was very sorry at all. The woman glared before her fist connected with Lois' temple.

****************

Chloe chanced a look behind her. Oliver was standing on the window ledge, the last one out. He pulled the rope up behind him, yelling something down into the castle, no doubt teasing the guards before he turned and jumped into the cart. "Come on." Alan called to Chloe. News of their escape plan had obviously reached the other guards who were now heading into the alley straight for them.

"Almost finished." Chloe smiled and ran to cart just as the Sheriff rounded the corner.

"Marion!" The Sheriff screamed and Chloe stopped.

"Chloe!" Oliver called out to her in horror but she just smirked and let her gaze slid off the Sheriff.

"Yippie Kay Yay Mother Fucker." She smirked.

Oliver followed Chloe's gaze to the corner of the castle wall where a mound of C4 was attached to a detonator that had just reached zero. The explosion was massive, taking out a huge chunk of the castle wall and effectively blocking off the way for the guards to chase them. The blast also knocked Chloe to the ground and Oliver and Will scrambled over to her to haul her up and into the cart. She started coughing as Oliver brushed the debris out of her hair and off her shoulders. "How awesome was that?" Chloe asked, her eyes twinkling.

"That was stupid." Oliver snapped at her. "You could have gotten yourself killed."

"But I didn't." Chloe pointed out to him.

"But you could have." Oliver said and Chloe caught a hint of worry hiding under the anger in his voice. "You can't do stuff like that. You can't just go off and make up your own plans and not consult with anyone or…"

"Oliver." Chloe reached up and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her. "I'm fine. I won't do it again."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "Ok."

"Are we ready to go now?" Alan asked.

"Ready when you are." Oliver stood up and started to make his way to the front to sit next to Alan.

Chloe felt the burst of wind from the arrow before she saw it and by the time she saw it, it was too late. It embedded itself deeply into Oliver's chest with the most chilling noise. "No." Chloe pulled herself to her feet as Oliver fell back into the hay. She turned around to see Guy standing on the steps of the castle, lowering his bow, a satisfied smirk on his face. "Oliver." Chloe looked down at him.

His face was already pale and he was sweating profusely. "Go." Someone screamed to Alan but he didn't have to be told twice, he'd already started toward the gates, the horses running as fast as they could.

"Hold on." Chloe stared down at Oliver as the blood pumped out of the wound.

"Don't touch the arrow." Djaq came up beside them.

"Ok." Chloe nodded in a daze. "Ok." She forced her attention away from the arrow and the blood and turned to Oliver. "Hey, you're gonna be fine."

He opened his mouth to say something but coughed instead, little drops of blood flying from his lips. "Liar." He panted with a smile on his face.

"Shhh." Chloe said, tasting salt on her lips as she realized she was crying.

*************

Lois was tired and angry and she was getting one of those really annoying headaches that popped up right behind your eyes and no matter how many aspirin you took it didn't ever go away until it wanted to go away. She wanted a shower and a drink and a nap and not necessarily in that order. "I've had enough." Lois growled grabbing the woman's wrist and pulling, twisting it behind her back and yanking up hard enough to hear a pop, dislocating her shoulder, the woman screamed. "How do I get them back?" Lois whispered in the woman's ear.

"Separate them." The woman panted out through the pain. "You've got to separate them."

"Separate them?" Lois asked. "What the hell does that mean?"

**************

When they'd cleared the village and made it far enough into the woods Alan stopped and came around the side to help pull Oliver up and out of the cart. They all carried him over to the ground, lying him down gently as Djaq came up, digging through her bag.

"We have to pull the arrow out." She said solemnly.

"No." Chloe shook her head and wiped her eyes. "If we do that he'll bleed to death."

"He'll bleed to death like this." Djaq pointed out. "If we get out the arrow I might be able to help him."

"Ok." Chloe nodded. Djaq called John over and he gripped the edge of the arrow.

"Ready?" John asked Oliver. He nodded and Chloe slid her hand in his squeezing is slightly in encouragement as John pulled.

Oliver's scream was deafening and Chloe had to close her eyes so she didn't throw up. When she opened them again Oliver was looking around wildly, panting. "He needs to calm down." Djaq warned.

"Oliver." Chloe said. "Hey!' She grabbed his face and turned it to look at her. "Hey, it's ok, I'm right here. Look at me, just look at me."

"That really hurt." He panted out, his eyes on Chloe as his breath slowed down.

"I know, just a little while longer." She said desperately.

"Ok." He nodded. "Ok."

"Here." Djaq grabbed Chloe's hands and shoved them on the wound as she tore up strips of linen. Chloe held on firm but refused to look. She could feel the blood pouring out now, sliding through her fingers and nothing they did was going to stop it from coming.

"Hey." Chloe said again to get Oliver's attention as he started to drift. "Hey, look at me. I need to tell you something."

"I know." He laughed. "You hate me."

"No." She shook her head firmly. "Quite the opposite in fact."

Oliver paused and stared at her, a small smile forming on his lips. "You've got some timing you know that?" He whispered.

"I know." Chloe laughed. "I'm sorry. I was scared and I…" She choked on her words as the tears started again.

"Shh." Oliver somehow managed to lift his hand to her cheek and he clumsily wiped her tears away. "It's ok."

Before she could stop herself Chloe leaned down and kissed him, softly, chastely on his lips. When she pulled back Oliver looked up at her through heavy eyes. "Come on." He mumbled. "You can do better than that."

"I…" Chloe stuttered and blinked.

**************

When she opened her eyes again she wasn't looking down at Oliver, she was looking down at a very plush oriental rug. She was back in the Starlight Lounge. "What the hell?" She looked around frantically. "Send me back." She said when she caught sight of Lois holding a woman down forcibly in a chair. The same woman who had checked her invitation. "Send me back." She repeated frantically.

"I can't." Lois said confused at Chloe's behavior.

"Oliver." Chloe said looking down at her arms which were suspiciously clean, no drop of blood in sight. She was also back in her Marion costume. "He was shot, he was hurt." Chloe said. "How do I get him back."

"You've got to separate them." Lois said holding up two pieces of parchment, they'd both with one jagged torn edge. Chloe recognized her name and her handwriting and realized it was her paper from earlier, torn in half. One piece said Chloe Sullivan and the other said Maid Marion.

"Separate them." Chloe looked down and started searching through the papers that scattered all over the floor when Lois broke the bowl. "Come on." She growled out in frustration before finally finding Oliver's. She stared down at the parchment. Oliver Queen was written on the top and Robin Hood was written on the bottom. Chloe closed her eyes, offered up a little prayer then ripped the paper right down the middle.

She couldn't look, couldn't open her eyes. What if it hadn't worked? What if it did work and it brought him back but he was still dying. "You know." Oliver's voice caused her eyes to snap open. "Talk about a last minute rescue." He was pulling himself up off the ground. He was back in his Robin Hood costume, his beard was gone and he was no longer sporting a gaping chest wound. "I bet you're one of those people who like to wait until the timer reaches one second before disarming bombs."

Chloe let out a noise that was half laugh half sob and threw herself on top of him, pushing him right back to the ground. "Hey." Oliver smiled, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. "I'm right here, I'm fine, it's ok."

Chloe knew that but for the moment she just needed to hold him, just for a little while, just until she could stop shaking. "This is why I don't go out." Chloe said, her voice muffled against his chest.

"I'm starting to see the appeal of having a Friday night in." Oliver laughed.

*************

It didn't take them long to get everyone back to the real world. They came up with some bogus story about a new type of virtual reality game, "In stores by next Christmas." Bart offered as he helped them all file out and put them in cabs. Chloe caught sight of the couple that had been in front of her in line, Tarzan and Jane and recognized them as Cameron and Julie Taskley. They owned a string of high end hotels and she briefly wondered if they enjoyed their stint living in the jungle for a few weeks.

When everyone was gone and it was just the six of them left, Lois had the lady behind the whole thing tied up in the chair and was interrogating her. "I don't get it, what's the end game here? Why do this?"

"I was just giving people what they wanted." The woman said snidely. "You dress up and pretend to be someone else for one night a year, I was just…prolonging the experience."

"So what?" Lois scoffed. "You expect me to believe you were just offering up a public service?"

"Something like that." The woman smiled.

Chloe snorted. "You guys are all alike." She walked over and stared down at the woman. "After all your posturing, all your little speeches…"

"What speeches?" The woman asked confused.

"You're nothing but a common thief."

The woman shut her mouth and everyone turned to Chloe confused. "The basket." She explained. "With our keys, all our keys. It's gone. So are the two goons she had stationed at the door earlier. My guess is this whole thing was just a way to make sure that we were all good an occupied so that you could take our keys, break into our homes and take your time."

They all turned to look at the woman. The look on her face confirmation enough for them. "How many people were here?"

"Not many." Chloe said trying to remember the basket. "She was smart, she just targeted the uber rich, and us of course. There were probably thirty, thirty five sets of keys."

"They could be anywhere though. We wouldn't even know where to begin." Victor pointed out.

"We don't." Oliver said. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm exhausted. We brought everyone back to the real world. We did our jobs. Now we're dealing with a simple case of robbery. I say we call in an anonymous tip and let the police handle it."

"I second the motion." Bart raised his hand.

"Good plan." Lois said. "Because you guys owe me a drink." She headed to the door. "And one hell of a story."

"Hey, AC." Chloe smiled at him as he made his way out, taking in his costume for the first time and the annoyed scowl on his face. "I take it your adventure wasn't so fun?"

"Pirates suck." AC walked up alongside Chloe as they exited the Starlight Lounge. "They're dirty and stupid and they have the absolute worst breath I've ever encountered."

"I've been telling you for years. Ninjas are way better than Pirates. Now do you believe me?"

"I want a bath." AC glared at her. "And some oranges." Chloe turned to him confused. "I think I have scurvy." He said annoyed, scratching manically at his arms and neck. "I know I have fleas."

Chloe laughed and tossed an arm over Victor's shoulder. "What about you?" Chloe asked. "How was your adventure."

"I don't want to talk about it." Victor shrugged out from under her arm.

"Come on, it couldn't have been that bad." Bart snorted. "I don't think I went five minutes without being shot at. And I got blown up twice. I was dealing with terrorists and disarming nuclear bombs and you had what, munchkins and flying monkeys? Lame."

"He's got a point Tin Man." Chloe tapped on his head affectionately. "How was the Wonderful Land of Oz?"

"Yeah did you get to see the wizard?" AC asked.

"Did he give you a heart?" Bart chimed in.

"You want to know?" Victor glared at them. "It rained, a lot. Do you know what happens to someone made out of tin when it rains?" Chloe's eyes got wide. "That's right. I rusted. I rusted all the time. I'd be in the middle of a sentence and my mouth would rust up. I can't tell you how many times I was frozen for hours waiting for someone to come by with oil can." Bart was trying his hardest not laugh and Chloe could even see Oliver hiding a smirk. "And Dorothy? All she did was complain. Her feet hurt, she was tired, she was hungry, she wanted to go home, and the dog, the stupid annoying yappy little dog peed on my leg, not once, not twice, but five times. And you know what, you can call me a wuss if you like but those flying monkeys were fucking scary. So can we please just not talk about it?" Victor snapped.

Everyone looked at him chastised but it didn't take long for the silence to break. "So did you get to meet the Lollypop Guild?" Bart smirked.

"What I want to know is, was there singing." AC smiled as Victor stomped away.

"Do you remember how to get back to Chloe's?" Bart asked. "You just have to follow the yellow brick road."

"Or you could click your heels." AC said.

"A bath sounds good." Oliver took Victor's place at Chloe's side, sliding his arm around her waist and pulling her up against him.

"Mmm." She mumbled contentedly. "You could come back to my place. We could pop some fresh popcorn and finish the Die Hard Marathon."

"You know." Oliver looked down at her. "I've never actually seen a Die Hard."

"What?" Chloe looked up at him in astonishment. "Oh boy are you in for a treat." She reached up on her tip toes and pressed a kiss to his lips before smiling.

***************

One week later….

"You ready for this?" Chloe asked Oliver seriously and he breathed deep before nodding. "Ok." She smiled and pulled a DVD off the top of the stack.

"Wait why are we starting with the second movie first?" Oliver sat down on the couch. "Shouldn't we start with the first movie first?"

Chloe glared at him. "You've managed to somehow go through your entire life without seeing a single Die Hard movie whereas I've seen them all many, many, far too many times. So…"

"If you say we watch the second movie first then we watch the second movie first." Oliver said in surrender.

"Damn right." Chloe put the movie in and sat down next to Oliver. He passed her the bowl of popcorn and then her glass of wine as the movie started.

Chloe took a sip then set the glass on the coffee table and smiled. "You ok?" Oliver asked.

"I've got a glass of wine, extra buttery popcorn, Bruce Willis, my comfy pants and you." She punctuated that last one with a kiss. It was supposed to be a soft little peck on his lips but his hand slid across her cheek and to her neck, holding her in place as he made the kiss deeper. He used his free hand to grab the bowl of popcorn and move it to the coffee table allowing him to pull her closer.

Chloe's hands sought out Oliver's chest, sliding under his t-shirt and scraping lightly along his abs which caused him to shudder. "What about the movie?" He stopped her.

"What about the movie?" Chloe asked pulling back, her eyes slightly glossed over, her lips red and swollen. "John McClane's always in the wrong place at the wrong time. People shoot at him, he blows stuff up, bad guys die." She leaned back in and kissed Oliver again.

"Well now you've gone and ruined it." Oliver smirked against her lips.

"Darn." Chloe said. "Now what are we doing to do to pass the time?" She joked, pulling away from his lips to nip at his earlobe.

Oliver's hands slid down to her waist and his fingers tightened just slightly, pulling her even closer. "I'm sure you can think of something." His voice hitched.

"So staying in is not so bad right?" She whispered in his ear. Oliver closed his eyes as his whole body shivered.

"There are some good things about it. I'm especially liking the comfy pants." Oliver joked slipping his fingers just under the elastic band on her pants edging along the edge of her panties.

Before he could get very far the door to her apartment opened loudly. "Did we miss it?" Victor called out walking to the kitchen with AC as Bart ran into the living room.

"No it just started." He shook his head, leaning over Chloe who was still on top of Oliver to grab the popcorn bowl off the coffee table and then moved to sit in the chair.

"It's the second one." AC walked in the room holding three beers. He passed one to Bart and held one out to Oliver, staring at the screen, not paying attention at all to the slightly compromised position Oliver and Chloe found themselves in. "Why do you always watch the second one first?"

Oliver took the beer and set it on the table before turning to Chloe. "You think if we kept going they'd even notice?" He asked and Chloe laughed, resting her head on his chest.

"Hey, hands in your own pants." Victor glared at them as he walked in the room then froze. "Wait, that's not what I meant." He shook his head as Oliver pulled his hands away from Chloe's pants. "Sit up." Victor slapped Chloe's feet and she pulled herself away from Oliver , the both of them straightening up on the couch so Victor could sit down. He dropped three very full bags of Chinese take out on the counter and passed out chopsticks to everyone.

Oliver looked at Chloe pointedly and she shrugged. He raised his eyebrows and she glared before turning back to Victor. "Hey look guys, maybe you think we could…oh pot stickers." Chloe held out her hand and Victor passed the box over to her. Oliver shook his head in disappointment.

"You are so weak." He smiled at her.

"Pot stickers." Chloe broke her chopsticks apart and smiled as she dug in.

"Wait I don't remember." AC asked. "Is he still married in this one?"

"Yes, in this one they're actually happy." Bart said. "They reconcile in the first one, they're happy in the second one, separated in the third, and divorced in the fourth. Can you pass the sweet and sour chicken?"

Victor passed it to Bart without thinking and Chloe shoved her pot stickers in Oliver's lap before lunging forward and ripping the chopsticks out of his hands. "No!" She screamed. "Who gave him chopsticks?"

"Sorry I forgot." Victor shrugged.

"I can use chopsticks." Bart said indignantly.

Chloe didn't say anything. She just stood up, grabbed the couch cushion she'd been sitting on and flipped it over to reveal a dark stain. "This is the pork with duck sauce from last month." She dropped the cushion back down and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. "Beef with Broccoli." Chloe pointed to a stain in the corner. She threw the blanket back down and pushed the coffee table out a bit, pointing to a spot on the floor. "General Tsao's Chicken just last week."

"Fine." Bart sped to the kitchen, grabbed a fork and sped back to the living room.

As the guys ate, talked over each other, started on their third beer and ignored the movie in favor of fighting over the last egg roll Oliver groaned. "It's Friday night guys. Are you sure you wouldn't rather go out, have some fun?"

"Are you kidding?" AC scoffed. "After what happened last week? We're never going out again."

"Did you hear that?" Oliver turned to Chloe. "They're never going out again."

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "I'll call a locksmith tomorrow."

"We could just move to Mexico." Oliver shook his head.

"They could find us in Mexico." Chloe pointed out.

"I love this part." Bart shushed Victor and AC's argument over whether the movie was pre or post NYPD Blue. "Hey Carmine." Bart chimed in time with the movie. "What sets off the metal detectors first?"

"The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains." Chloe finished for him laughing as he offered up his hand for a high five.

Oliver sighed as Chloe's attention was absorbed by the movie. "I'll make more popcorn. You want a refill?" He pointed to her wine glass.

"Yes please." She smiled her thanks. He nodded and walked to the kitchen.

He was standing in front of the microwave listening to the popcorn, not trusting the preset popcorn button and paying very close attention. Two seconds too long and the popcorn was inedible. "Hey." Chloe walked up behind him, laid the empty food boxes on the counter and then slid between Oliver and the counter top. Her hands slid up his chest, behind his neck and tangled in his hair pulling him down forcefully and crushing her lips to his.

This was definitely not a chaste kiss. Their teeth clashed violently but he didn't care sliding closer to her, trapping her against the cabinet as her tongue slid across the sensitive spot under his upper lip. This was urgent and demanding and promising so very much more. Chloe pulled away and Oliver tried to follow her lips but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. "They've got to leave sometime." She smiled, slipping out from under him and headed back to the living room.

"I hate you!" Oliver called after her.

"Do you smell something burning?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Shit." Oliver glared at the microwave which said there was still forty five seconds left but when he opened the door all he could smell was burnt pop corn.

"You know you can't trust those preset popcorn buttons." Bart said from behind him, grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

"I will kill you with this bottle opener." Oliver turned around slowly.

"You're wound kind of tight." Bart grabbed the bottle opener from Oliver's white knuckled fingers. "You need to relax. You know what. You and Chloe should have like a quiet night in or something."

"You should run." Oliver said through clenched teeth. "Very fast and very very far from here."

* * *


End file.
